Two Years Down

Sunset crossing the California border - Sept 10, 2017

Two years ago, I was in Phoenix dealing with a dead rental car full of stuff. I was also driving across the California border at sunset and in Hollywood by midnight.

Sunset crossing the California border - Sept 10, 2017
Here’s the California border if anyone’s curious πŸ˜€

https://www.instagram.com/p/BY4i7AbjBqYuCwSA_YMxGpoza2xKrXKaC-c5DI0/

It’s been a heck of a ride since. Southern California has definitely taken my heart in a way I couldn’t have imagined then. No, it’s not just the weather (but how could I not enjoy all of the sun?). Or even the scenery (reading on the beach after hiking a mountain trail on the same day!).

It’s the feeling of accomplishment, survival, growth. Albeit, some of it came after much kicking and screaming. I’ve never lived so far away for family or my inner circle — thank goodness for text messaging, phone calls, and facetime! I’ve made new friends and created more circles. I’m still working on having game nights and potlucks though (Sidenote: Anyone know how to get folks to cross the 405 on a regular or even irregular basis?)

It was such a milestone when I realized I could get around the city without Google Maps-ing my way everywhere. Even more so when I could find faster shortcuts!

All of this to say, the two years have flown by and dragged on. Another 730 days older (I see you wrinkles!), wiser (pfft…maybe), and weathered (wear that sunscreen folks!).

Besides, can it really be real if Facebook didn’t remind me or I don’t post online about it for the world to see?

It’s a process. Quitting won’t speed it up.

Went down an internet rabbit hole…you as you do on a Friday morning when you’re internally debating when and how to get up because there are things to do but the bed is so comfy.

And I came across an article about a woman who lost 30 pounds in 100 days – an incredibly feat!

I can’t speak to her methods or anything else, but the headline was enough to get me to her instagram feed, where I found this:

It’s a slow process but quitting won’t speed it up.

I’m working on several things at the moment, personally and professionally. It’s all slow going and full of uphill battles. Pushing a boulder up a never ending mountain.

It feels like nothing is working and worse yet, that no progress is being made. I feel so utterly stuck. And it’s debilitating.

But it’s all in my head.

Because the amount of work I’ve put in has had impact, whether I see it or not.

Whether it worked as planned or not.

Whether I succeeded.

Or not.

I am improved having gone through what I have so far.

I really am better/stronger/smarter/faster. Something I notice only when I can pull my head out of my head if you know what I mean πŸ˜€

It was a freaking slow process.

And rarely on my timeline.

Going in fits and starts time and again.

And it still is slow, not on my timeline, and has starts and stops.

But I’ve gotten this far.

And quitting wouldn’t have helped (and didn’t help) anyone, least of all myself.

So this is a long tribute to myself. It’s something I’ve long needed to recognize about myself.

In sharing, I hope you too can see that in yourself.